Sad Eyes

It's funny. I wanted to stay away from facebook today. It's my cousin birthday, and I rather not see the, "Happy 21st Birthday! Wish you were alive to celebrate it with us!" posts that are rampant within my many cousins' statuses. With every status update I see my aunt's eyes... eyes that will never heal. It's hard to swallow... so I avoid it completely.

It's difficult to see the fairness in life when things are taken away from you... when you give and nothing returns to you, when others take but never give... But over time, there is only one way out of the cave of sadness that the world helped you create...

My friend messaged me today about planning a little dinner/touch-bases before craziness ensues... hence my reason for going onto the time-sucker. But by the time I sent my response, my other cousin had this on her status:

Life is never about proving to people that you are a good person.
Sometimes, the bad things matter.
For in your darkness, you see people who are ready to light the road for you.
It's not how many friends you have, or how many people roam to you,
But it's how few of them accept you.
For in your nothingness, people TRUE to you, find reasons to still love you.

In the past year and a half, we've had to deal with so much loss. Gotta remember not to lose things that have meaning to me. And I have to remember not to lose myself. Gotta remember not to lose sight of what's important.

Here I thought I was avoiding my cousin... forgot that 'Than always had good timing. He was part of the entourage whenever we went out in public back home... figures that he'd still guide me stateside. Happy birthday, cousin.