I get it, Universe. I get it. Happier thoughts. Flowing hair and hair elastic bands that don't break at first use. Water buffaloes and ice cold milk. Awesome shoes that don't hurt. Tiffany rings and sensible decisions. Unicorns and candy. Future employment and a well deserved vacation... I will try this positive outlook thing... (ooh, tempted to pull out a chemistry/atom joke, but I'll resist...)
By Sarah Golin
When encountering stressful events in daily life, venting to a
friend about them may not always be helpful, a new study concludes. The results showed that when people with some traits of perfectionism
faced daily setbacks, venting to a friend often made them feel less
satisfied about their circumstances than before they talked about it.
"Venting is not an effective strategy for anyone trying to cope with
daily stress, whether they have perfectionistic tendencies or not," said
social psychologist Brad J. Bushman, who teaches at Ohio State
University and has researched aggression and coping, but was not
involved in this study. "Research clearly shows that venting increases
rather than decreases stress."
The study found, instead, three other strategies that were effective
coping strategies for people dealing with setbacks: acceptance, humor
and positive reframing, which means looking for something good in the
otherwise stressful event. "It's no use ruminating about small failures and setbacks and
[dragging] yourself further down," said study author Dr. Joachim
Stoeber, a psychologist at the University of Kent in England. "Instead,
it is more helpful to try to accept what happened, look for positive
aspects and — if it is a small thing —have a laugh about it."
Focus on perfectionism
The study included 149 Kent students with perfectionist traits. The
participants completed daily diary reports for three to 14 days, noting
the most bothersome failure they experienced each day, what strategies
they used to cope with the failure and how satisfied they felt at the
end of the day. Their coping strategies included using social support,
self-distraction, denial, religion, venting,
substance use, self-blame and withdrawing.
Of these, using social support, denial, venting, withdrawing, and
self-blame made students feel worse instead of better, the researchers
determined. The more the students used these strategies to cope, the
less satisfied they felt at the end of the day. In contrast, the more students used positive reframing, acceptance
and humor, the better they felt at the end of the day, the study found.
Stoeber noted that the study's focus on people who have a
perfectionist personality was significant, because they are generally
less satisfied than others with daily setbacks. "The finding that positive reframing was helpful for students high in
perfectionistic concerns is particularly important because it suggests
that even people high in perfectionistic concerns, who have a tendency
to be dissatisfied no matter what they achieve, are able to
experience high levels of satisfaction if they use positive reframing coping when dealing with perceived failures," he said.
Stoking the fire
The fact that venting is an unsuccessful way to cope with
failure may seem counterintuitive to those who have been taught to share
their negative feelings to try to "purge" them. But it actually creates
more stress "because it keeps arousal levels high, aggressive thoughts
active in memory, and angry feelings alive," Bushman said.
"People say that venting feels good, but the good feeling doesn't
last, and it only reinforces aggressive impulses," Bushman told
MyHealthNewsDaily. He said that anger often precedes aggression, and venting is behaving
aggressively (against people or inanimate objects). The reasons why we
vent may simply be tied to evolutionary causes of aggression in humans.
Stoeber said that a helpful recommendation for anyone trying to cope with daily setbacks would be to
try to find positive aspects
and think of what happened in a more positive way; for example, by
focusing on what has been achieved, rather than on what has not been
achieved.